Dr. Dog's House

Good news, everybody: We’ve gotten above zero here today. We started this morning (two days before Christmas) at -12F (-24C), but even though I only see gray sunshine outside my window, the temperature has now climbed all the way to +23.

We will get warmer weather in time for Christmas, though. In fact, temperatures will rise into the 20s and close to 30. That’s thanks to a big Christmas snowstorm barreling this way.

At this point, we are on the cusp (love that word) of the heavy snow area. To the east of us, they will be getting a Christmas stocking full of snow, rain and freezing rain. To the west of us, mainly wet snow. We are close to the dividing line.

I am keeping a close eye on it today, because my son is driving north today from near Detroit. I talked to him just before he left to pass along good news: He and the storm are both racing this way, but he should win the race easily if he follows his normal schedule. No reason he can’t–the storm is coming from a different direction.

After that, it gets dicey. With all the snow being forecast, we may move up a visit to see my mom at the nursing home. Instead of Christmas Day, I am thinking we will leave Thursday morning, Dec. 24, drive down there, make our visit and then head for home before road conditions get too dicey. My guess is that we will see some snow before we get back to our place (50 miles [80 km] away), but the heavy stuff won’t hit us until later. If we don’t dawdle too much, we should be OK. Once we get home, it can snow as much as it wants.

To explain–the storm is coming at us from the southwest, and the city with her nursing home is to the southeast. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that the storm is coming at us as the crow flies–straight. We are driving as the road meanders. It is far from a direct route–sort of like the letter “L.”

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It’s treasure chest time at home. My wife and I and the kids stopped giving each other gifts a few years ago. It’s complicated to explain … but it can be hard to come up with ideas for gifts that fit budgets, and all of us know how to order stuff for ourselves online.

(Notwithstanding that, however, I did get my wife a couple gifts for the holidays. That breaks the rules, I know. I’ll tell you what they are, if you can keep the secret for two days: I got her a copy of the old “Thorn Birds” miniseries on DVD, which she badly wanted to have, and I gave her a gift certificate from a local jewelry store. I noticed that she likes jewelry (particularly pretty necklaces) more and more.)

(Shhhh! That’s just between us.)

The treasure chest? It came from B in Alaska and arrived on Monday. It’s the exact size as the Priority Mail box that arrived at B’s house at about the same time. Mine is a combination birthday/Christmas box, to note the fact that those occasions fall on consecutive days.

We have agreed that we will both be opening our boxes today (Wednesday). I don’t know what is in my box, but I’ll tell you what is in hers:

–Two bags of Old Dutch Rip-L-Chips, a popular brand of potato chips in this area.

I will explain: At some point over a year ago, we got to talking about potato chips, and I told her the Old Dutch chips were the best. Then, when we met for the first (and only) time around the Fourth of July, going to that neopagan camp, I got some Old Dutch chips for a potluck dinner being held at the camp. Here’s what the other campers thought about the chips: They vanished very quickly. We didn’t get to have too many. So I bought another bag, and we munched them in the car as I drove her back to the airport in the Twin Cities, as our short visit was ending. Those chips didn’t last long, either.

I managed to get two bags of chips into the box. One bag, I said, is for her to share with her husband and son and guests during the holidays. The other is for her to hoard selfishly.

–One bag of Australian black licorice. Or “liquorice,” as it was spelled on the bag. She likes Australian licorice . I didn’t explore that when we were together–those were some really busy days, and it slipped through the cracks–but now she can have a treat.

–The first “Hellboy” movie on DVD. I like the Hellboy films, but B doesn’t care for stories about monsters or science fiction. I told her she would like Hellboy–for a monster, he’s got a lot of humanity, too, and a tragic side.And he works for the good guys.

You see, what happened is … I liked the movie so much I eventually bought the director’s cut for myself. So what do I do with the first copy I got? I know! I know!

–Some DVDs I burned for her. Recently, B saw an old Harold Lloyd comedy on TV (“Speedy”) and fell in love with him. I like Harold Lloyd, too, and over the years I had burned some Harold Lloyd films I recorded from TV onto DVDs–so I made copies of them and stuck them in the treasure chest, too.

The ones getting special attention are “Safety Last!” (the one in which Lloyd hangs from the hands of a clock on the side of a building–I’m sure you have all seen stills of that) and “Girl Shy” (in which a very shy man–guess who?–who even stutters when he tries to talk to a woman writes a book called “The Secret of Making Love.” Many comic misadventures ensue.)

None of the gifts are expensive–I joked to her that the postage cost more than the items inside. But the cost of Christmas gifts isn’t the important part. The items are important or meaningful to the two of us, and that’s really all that matters.

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All that matters to us, as a family, is keeping track of one another and making the most of the time we get together. We are going to be watching some movies while Phil is here, we’ll have a semi-traditional ravioli supper some night and some pizzas by a local company that he is particularly fond of. (Once, he bought a whole case of them to take home. It was winter, so they probably survived the 10-hour drive.)

We will talk about this and that, he’ll visit my other son (who lives in town at his own apartment), and we’ll all get together to watch more films and DVDs. I’ve found some surprises for him, too, and he talked about some films he’d like to see. That means I’d better stop at the local video place (the only one in town) right after work today.

He arrives tonight (Wednesday) and will leave for home on Sunday. After that, who knows when we will next see him? Maybe this summer. It depends.

The only thing I’m sure of is that we will make the most of our limited time together, and I hope all of you will do the same over the holiday season. It’s good time.

After he leaves, my holidays will be busy: Early next week, I will try to visit S and her husband–maybe my wife will come along, maybe not. Over New Year’s, both of us will head to NW Wisconsin to see her brothers and sisters–a dinner and a family meeting. The week after that, I plan to visit N for another movie night.

Happy holidays to all my bloggy friends over here. I plan to visit much more often next year than I have for the last few months.

The last time I wrote (gee, time flies, doesn’t it?), I think I was a bit bummed out because I couldn’t drive down to visit my friend S and her husband. An unexpected trip to the state football finals in Detroit ended those plans.

The visit was rescheduled two weeks later–to last week. All the arrangements were made … and then had to be postponed again.

This time, football didn’t get in the way. Our big snowstorm did. By last Sunday, it had become apparent that Mother Nature wasn’t going to allow any trip on Tuesday, as planned. Lots of snow. Lots of wind. Not the kind of thing I want to mess around with, even to see friends.

Due to my schedule, which gets pretty busy in December, the next attempt won’t be until the week after Christmas. Come to think of it, I think we had to do this last year, too.

The snowstorm was the first big one of this winter. I think we wound up with about 10 inches, which blew all over the place, of course. I shoveled the front walk before going to work, shoveled the back walk after work that afternoon (and also liberated the car). The next morning, I did the front walk again–it has drifted over since this morning.

Then temperatures fell well below zero, to about -10F. A preview of January.

Tonight: more snow. Ahh–it’s December. What more can I say?

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Things I have done since my last post:

–Visited N two weeks ago. This time, there was just a little bit of snow, easy to pilot the car through. We went to dinner and watched a couple movies, including W.C. Fields’ “The Bank Dick.” A good time was had by all.

–Our team reached the state finals again during Thanksgiving week but didn’t win the state title again. They have gone there six years in a row and won only once. Geez, that’s tough, isn’t it? Any other team, of course, would give its eye teeth for a chance to play in even one state championship game.

I drove down by myself and stayed at my son’s apartment, sleeping on his couch. Among our highlights was watching the Packers-Lions game on Thanksgiving (also at Ford Field, the site of the state high school finals the next day) on his TV at the apartment. We watched a couple movies (including the new incarnation of “Star Trek,” which was pretty darn good) and went out to Thanksgiving Day dinner at a place called the Moose Preserve.

That was cool! They had a number of Northwoodsy-type meals. My son selected the Road Kill Grill, which included venison, quail, wild rice casserole, corn and wild boar sausage!

I was thinking of getting that, too, but I eventually chose the Buffaloaf. Two thick slices of ground bison meat on white bread with thick buffalo gravy and mushrooms, plus some mashed potatoes. That was yummy. Next time I take my wife down here, that’s going to be one of our stops.

I went down to the game by myself Friday morning. Maybe should have checked my maps a little better the night before, but I did OK. After the game, I started the long trip home at about 12:30 p.m. (Central Time) and got home about 11:30 p.m. Unlike most trips downstate this time of year, there was no snow in the northern Lower Peninsula to worry about. The driver appreciated that.

–I am continuing to re-learn my German. Very slowly. I discovered that babelfish.yahoo.com can help with translations, but my friend doesn’t want me to do it that way. OK, then. I will do it the old fashioned way, and I will do it very slowly. I care very much about my spelling and syntax and punctuation and grammar, whether I am writing in English or German. I did invest in a Collins concise dictionary and a Living Language beginners-intermediate guide to German.

I will study them–but hey, I’ve got lots of other stuff I need to do, too. Progress will come slowly.

–I have had a sore throat on and off since returning from Detroit. I know I need to rest more than I have been. Extra sleep is good. But I have been sucking on Hall’s cough drops and taking the occasional Sudafed. So far so good.

–Yesterday, my wife and I made our first trip to Rhinelander since early September–just before my mom’s fall at the nursing home. Our main goal was to find a good winter coat for her, and she found a nice one, in powder blue with white and teal trim. Plus, it was on sale. That made her very happy. She likes sales.

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B wrote me recently, telling me about the talk in her office about Tiger Woods’ recent escapades. As you may remember, B and her husband are polyamorous, as I am.

“I had to bite my tongue so many times when the women were getting all over his case about his “ho” and such. It is useless to try to talk with people about this stuff. Obviously, his wife was not having any part of sharing him so poly was no issue here. My director was saying that the element of surprise is what is the worst about these things. If an honest admission takes place, it is much easier to deal with the situation. Could have hopped right in there but did not!”

I wrote back:

“Who really knows what is going on with him? My main impression about him, in general, is that he is wound way too tight for his own good, that he wants to control everything in his own little universe, while at the same time making scads of money from us (or at least the golf-pro-worshiping public, which doesn’t include me).

Gee! Wouldn’t that shake up the world?”

Since then, of course, we have learned much more of Tiger’s private life than we probably ever wanted to, especially that he has apparently has spent time with a number of “ladies,” who now all want to go public. (I was going to say “girlfriends,” except that a real friend would never do that to a friend.)

Still, I think my fun question is just as valid and intriguing. What if a couple in the public spotlight were honest with each other and themselves. What if they treated each other and the others in their lives with love and respect and caring? What then?

Yes, it’s another of my seemingly endless stream of “where have I been lately?” posts. I haven’t written a post for a while. Nor have I been checking anyone else’s. It’s not that I don’t think about you or don’t care about you. But … my own life is complex, and I’ve had some long and difficult weeks lately.

I can get wordy, but I can break down the main news in a few simple sentences:

My mom’s house has finally been sold.

My mom seems to be slipping away.

I have been mainly healthy but feel harassed by various duties and responsibilities, and it’s getting me down.

Now, a closer focus.

Yes, the house was sold. The closing took place last Friday. But it didn’t happen without excitement and nervous times.

The last time I wrote, I said that the closing was two days away, and since the train hadn’t gone off the tracks yet, it probably wouldn’t. The next day, it went off the tracks.

The title company discovered that part of what we thought was our land (slightly over 2 acres) had been deeded over to someone else in a land exchange. That led to the discovery that the someone else has his house/trailer on our land.

It’s a mess, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. When this county was originally surveyed, it must have been very ineptly done. If you have ever looked at a plat book, you have seen the townships and ranges in very neat and orderly squares, all lines parallel with each other, both vertically and horizontally, with all 90-degree angles. Well, that sure isn’t the case in this county. I am sure the goofy dimensions have made title companies a lot of money over the years.

It postponed the planned closing for one week. To cut to the chase: We sold the buyer one acre of land (getting less money for the sale) and will deal with the occupants of that trailer separately–probably by selling the land to them after we agree upon a price. Meanwhile, the sale of the house, garage, etc., was officially closed last Friday. We got a check that was noticeably smaller than we had hoped.

A couple with three kids (three boys, 6, 7 and 8 years old) bought the house and are busily making repairs and painting and stuff. After four years of being empty, the house will be a busy, happy place again.

It had been empty since a bad fall four years ago put my mom in the hospital and then the nursing home. In September, she had another bad fall and broke her elbow. She was in the hospital for a week, but the experience seems to have taken a lot of the life out of her. Granted, she is 87, but she has changed a lot since before the fall. She sleeps an awful lot now and is getting harder and harder to understand.

All this time, she has been thinking clearly, but when we visited her last week, she made a motion to her head with her good hand and said something to the effect that her mind isn’t working so well anymore. Today, we went down there to ride with her to a doctor’s appointment (the nursing home van was taking her in her wheelchair). We got there about noon, and I went down to her room to get her and her wheelchair. I said hi to her, and she looked at me with a confused look. She said something that sounded a lot like “Who are you?” That’s the first time that has ever happened, and it caught me by surprise.

Later on, though, as we sat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and I was holding her hand, she was holding my hand, too. The doctor unwrapped her arm, felt the arm, wrapped her up again, and we called the van to take us back. But she was getting very sleepy again. Once we got to the nursing home, I called for a nurse to help put her back in bed. She was asleep within minutes.

It’s like … like a science fiction movie, where someone is partially in this dimension and partly in another, and they look semi-transparent. That is my mom. She is here, and yet she isn’t. And she doesn’t want to be here any longer. Let’s be honest about it. She wants to be with her parents and her husband and my brother and her older brother. The doctors told me she is hardly eating at all any more, and she lost six pounds in a recent week. I think you can tell what I am expecting to happen before too many more weeks pass. The arrangements have already been made.

What with the drama about the sale of the house, my mom’s health and ongoing busy weeks at work, I am doing well just to maintain an even keel emotionally. I had planned to visit N this week, but I had to postpone it–too much stress. The doctor’s appointment with my mom was today. Thursday, I have an all-day meeting two hours away. My weekend will be very busy–football playoff games Friday night and Saturday afternoon.

I am trying to stay healthy. What I need to do is get more sleep and watch how much I eat–I tend to eat more when I’m feeling tense or depressed. So far so good. Since I am aware of it, I think I can deal with it OK. Basically, I am a healthy guy. Sturdy. Dependable. Or trying to be.

But the load on my shoulders has been pretty heavy lately. I know that. Under the circumstances, writing blogs and reading blogs has had to be put on the side for now. I hope you understand.

I’ve been busy lately, too busy to write a report to wrap up my wife’s trip. I started one last week but didn’t have time to finish. And now fate has written a new chapter in my life.

On Labor Day, two days after my wife returned from her week-long trip (more on that later), we drove down to visit my mom. The highlight of the visit came when I brought out my cell phone and called my mom’s brother, who had turned 90 years old the day before. He and my mom (who is 87) talked for a while. She was very happy to talk with him again–it had been over a year since he last drove up from central Wisconsin.

All was well for a few days. And then …

Early last Friday morning, my wife woke me up at about 2:30 a.m. The phone had been ringing, and it was the nursing home. My mom had fallen and hurt herself. (It was five days short of the fourth anniversary of her first fall.)

She has had a number of falls in recent weeks and months, mainly because she is getting forgetful about locking the wheels of her wheelchair when she tries to get on and off. Usually, she is all right. Not this time.

There was no point in driving down there in the middle of the night–she would be in the emergency room for a while. We went back to bed, and I called the nurses station at the hospital when I got up about 7 a.m. She had suffered a broken elbow and a fracture of a cervical spinal process in her neck. They also discovered a urinary tract infection, but the elbow was the main thing. It’s her right arm, and she’s right-handed.

We drove down to see her late Friday morning. She was uncomfortable in the rigid collar they had put on her. She recognized me, but it was very hard to understand what she was trying to say–not unusual. I did hear her say that she didn’t know what happened.

We went home, and I went ahead with my plans for Friday night, which involved covering a football game out of town and spending the night with a friend. I drove back Saturday morning, did some work, and then we drove down to see her again. That day, Saturday, she was totally out of it. Maybe it was the pain meds. She didn’t seem to recognize me at all, and she kept calling out her brother’s name … and also “Mama.”

I knew what that’s about. Several times in recent months, she had forgotten that her mother died many years ago. She has been asking about her mom during many of our recent visits, and I have to explain to her again that she died long ago. In 1963. Almost 50 years ago. If her mom were still alive, she would be over 120 years old.

And now she was calling for her mother again. My wife speculated “Maybe her mother is very close to her now.” And I wondered, too. Later, I told her this isn’t the first time I have driven home, wondering whether I would ever see her alive again.

She was in deep sleep when we returned Sunday afternoon, but after an hour or so, she woke up–and this time she did recognize me. By now, they had put a soft collar on her. We were able to talk for a little while (as well as she could–she still is hard to understand).

I wasn’t able to visit on Monday (too busy at work and then a meeting at night), but I drove down again on Tuesday afternoon. This time, even the soft collar was down. She was sleeping when I arrived, but she woke up, I gave her some water, and we talked for a while. Then she started getting tired and said I can go now.

I’m hoping she will feel good enough to return to the nursing home in another couple days. They are still doing medical tests. Nurses told me she sat up for a while today and is eating a little more.

It’s rough, though, for me. I haven’t been sleeping well–getting tired easily since this happened. That Saturday visit, especially, was mentally and emotionally draining.

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As for my wife, she returned to town recently, on a Saturday night. While she was happy to be back home, she was also glad she made the trip.

We had talked nearly every night (until she let her cell phone’s batteries get too weak). When I asked her if she was enjoying herself, she replied, “Oh, you bet!” The people on the tour were kept pretty busy each day, and she got achy at times. Aspirin took care of that.

She was happy to get home but enjoyed the experience. She showed me some of the brochures she got about the shows, some pictures she took, two pieces of jewelry she bought, and she told me about some of her experiences.

One highlight was that she won a “Bugsplat” game on the way home, earning about $15 in quarters. They make a grid on the bus windshield, and the first big bug that splats on the grid pays off (in death) for the bus passenger who selected that square. They also did lots of bingo to pass the time on the bus.

The tour company has gone to Branson, Mo., for several consecutive years. Word is that they will may go to Nashville instead next year. I’m sure she would like that. She said she had a good time with everyone, and she, her roommate and the two other women from our town usually did things together–meals, etc. Bottom line: The trip was worth it.

The cats, of course, were very interested in her return, and she and Maggie had a long bonding session almost immediately. She was moderately impressed that the kitchen was not in any worse shape than when she had left it, and that there was not a big stack of dishes remaining to be washed. (We have an automatic dishwasher, but my vast knowledge does not include how to operate that.) To make up for it, there was a big pile of unwashed clothes upstairs.

She returned on the Saturday night of Labor Day weekend. We took it very easy on Sunday, but on Labor Day itself we went off to visit my mom. She had her first quilting group meeting of the season that Tuesday. It seems that life is getting back to normal.